Too Funny

Glad I didnt get into that battle last night Don!!

Originally Posted by Seco
The nooblets were nestled all snug on the bench
when 24 Spaniards engaged with the French.

The 24 Spaniards all lined in a row
The Big Cheese was made leader but where would they go?

Open ocean was blocked and the fort out of reach
But the Cheese had a plan "We'll head for the beach!"

So 24 Spaniards all headed upwind
While 24 Frenchmen just sat there and grinned.

The Frenchmen they shouted "There's the beach, you must turn!"
As they loaded their cannons and pounded Spain's stern.

But the Spanish all focused on matters at hand,
Ignored all the Frenchmen and piled onto land.

The Spanish were beaten their ships were all wrecked
When from up on the beach the Cheese yelled "Disconnect!"

His forces were ruined, the battle was lost
But face must be saved no matter the cost.

The Cheese surveyed the damage and ships that were burned
and addressed the benched nooblets "We'll come back when you've learned!"

What happened commodore?

It was ri-cock-ulous. I'll try to summarize here.

First, when the 17 minute warning went out, the usual 'leet' suspects started warning everyone who wasn't uber to STFO. Mildly at first but Ramondo from Marinos del Rey kept egging them on and it got pretty ugly.

Then when the Captains assembled in the ready room, Brei immedietly said he/she was leading. After absolutely no direction from the 'leaders' the rest of us rabble tried to form up in groups. Mine was an ad-hoc of Marinos, Sangre y Ron and led by this guy from House of Solomon who I didn't know. Began with an A.

So about 4 minutes before start, this guy who was leading my group (we'll just call him 'A') asked in battle chat if there was no one with experience to lead he would. Brei responded "I am you deushbag". So that set the tone right there.

Anyway, we go out through door 3 with no explanation on why we where going out through door 3 and form a pretty shitty line. My group is, of course, assigned last place in line. We start sailing with no direction of plan relayed down to us. My group is the first to spot the French coming right at us on our Port beam.

We shout it in Battle chat for about 4 or 5 minutes before Brei finall turns the line. Unfortunately he/she turned the line away from the French and damn near into the wind. We also see at this time that the enemy has about 7 or 8 SOLs and we only have 2. Brei and that 'A' guy who is leading my group.

The line takes forever to turn and the French catch us at the back. Raymondo and I have to jig out of line to 'cut shroud' on the lead French ships to save our guy 'A' from getting caught.

Meanwhile Brei has turned the line around an Island in the hopes of setting some kind of trap that I still don't understand. The French see that and just turn on their side of the small Island. The fronts of the line come close together and Corte starts getting their asses whipped. Still not a single word of direction from the ubers.

We lose a couple of ships and then notice that Brei has led the entire line into a shallow bay and right into the beach. This whole time everybody in my group, I was on HoS Vent, was saying they are jumping and to hell with it. I told them I wasn't going to leave and so they stayed. When the line grounded chaos ensued. I tried to turn and skirt the back of the French line with 1 or 2 other guys. It was pretty hopeless and they were waiting for it. I got sunk before I made it half way. I don't know what happened after that, I got up to take a piss and get back on our TS. When I alt-tabbed back into the game the Port had gone French control.

Absolute disaster under the leadership of all mighty Corte.

The Brei Maneuver:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Brei+Maneuver&defid=0

OMFG, Too damn funny